Take Me Back
by Cassandraishere
Summary: It has been five years since the rebellion and Katniss has finally left her abusive marriage to Gale behind in hopes that a certain blond man will take her back. It has been five years and Peeta believes he's finally reached his goal and changed his entire personality. When Haymitch brings Katniss back and tries to reunite them will Peeta return to the man he was? Will it work?
1. Five Years Later

**I love Peeta I do,I just wrote him extremely out of character in this chapter because that's the way I felt was right. If you like Gale you couldn't read this story, I'm never very nice to Gale in my stories.**

Chapter One: Five Years Later

The door slams in front of my face and I feel my blood warm to a burning point in less than an instant. My cheek is still burning from my latest slap to the face but I don't care, at this moment I couldn't care less about anything. I dash into the bedroom and turn on all the lights. Gale screams in upmost anger behind me, I don't react, I'm not afraid of him anymore. I walk up to the closet and take out my old game bag; I fill it with my most memorable possessions. Peeta's peal, which I had hidden in the sock drawer to prevent getting smacked in the face; There's my wallet, a book filled with phone numbers, courtesy of Haymitch, my old book on leaves, and a picture of Peeta from a poster promoting the 74th hunger games which I had hid with my panties.

I take a change of clothes with me and I close the leather bag before turning to him. This monster of a man that had kept me in this horrible house for the last five years; He's sitting on the bed watching me with his cold grey eyes. I've never confronted him before, but this was it. I was done and I owe it all to Haymitch.

I'd called Haymitch yesterday as I hid in the bathtub. I had the sink running and told him about Gale's latest beating. He had sighed in pain.

"Leave him, right now. Throw your ring at him and come home. I'll be waiting for you"

"What if he follows me?" I had whispered I was hysterical; my nose was broken and bleeding like a faucet.

"I'll kill him. I went to the hunger games. You're my pride and joy and I won't have him hurt you, let me wipe him from the face of this earth…"

"I have to go" I had interrupted him with my whisper because my eyes were on my very angry husband.

And now not that long afterwards I stand before the beast with the strength I thought I had lost years ago. I'm yelling at the top of my lungs and I hope our neighbours hear, I hope Haymitch can hear me all the way from twelve.

"I sit around the house all day waiting on you hand and foot; I try my best to keep you happy. And what have you done for the five years we've lived through? You smack me around! You enjoy it too, you little bastard. It makes you happy to yell at me, to make me feel small. You love laughing at me after my night terrors. You're a monster and I hate you, I hate you!"

I march out the door and I make sure to slam it behind me. I hear him yell my name. I pause in our, no his, driveway and I scream "Stay out of my life!"

I make sure to toss his ring at his front door.

…..

I start to cry on at the train station, I don't think it's very noticeable since it's raining; I take out the book with the phone numbers and dial on a pay phone.

"Hello?" I hear Haymitch answer a little distractedly.

"I left him" I whisper excitedly "It was amazing, I yelled and everything. I've never felt this free"

Haymitch makes a happy sound "I've been waiting for this day since you told us you were moving to two to get married"

I close my eyes and see the memory a little too vividly.

_"Oh" Peeta had said with a blank look on his face, he tried to smile in encouragement yet his eyes said another story "Well, congratulations"_

_Haymitch nodded "Alright. When will this take place?"_

_I remember gulping "In two days when we get to district two" Peeta tried his hardest not to look at me, he had stared at his hand and I had felt like a horrible person "it'll be great" my voice had broken at the end._

_Peeta squeezed his eyes shut "I wish you all the happiness in the world"_

That was the worst memory I have of Peeta, not of him injured, or hijacked and angry; but of his heartbroken expression.

"How's Peeta?" I ask immediately. I hear movement form the other end as if Haymitch is leaving whatever room he's in. The sound of the television in the background fades away.

"He's alright. He works a lot"

I'm quiet for a second.

Haymitch makes a sound that I recognize to be him sucking in his lips. It's a nervous habit of his "You meant to ask me how he was _doing_, not how he was doing right?"

I breathe a shaky breath "Yeah, that's what I meant"

"Well" Haymitch begins carefully; he must be debating whether or not to tell me, he sighs before continuing "he just got out of a relationship. It wasn't serious or anything. He said it was mostly physical. Most of his relationships have been like that"

"Oh" I say lamely. That didn't sound like Peeta, he always found something beautiful in life, and everything had a hidden meaning with him.

"It _has_ been five years, sweetheart" he says matter-of-factly "I wouldn't expect anything"

"Yeah, I know, I wasn't expecting anything" I inspect my nails. He was right, five years was too long, Peeta must have moved on by now, and here I was still carrying around an eight-year-old picture and a token of his long forgotten love.

"Alright sweetheart, you get yourself on that train, I'll be waiting for you on the other side" I hear some doubt in his voice, but there's mostly pain and love.

My voice shakes because I'm in teaks "Ok, I love you Haymitch"

Haymitch sighs, it sounds like he's crying "I love you too, Katniss"

….

I put the phone on the kitchen counter and head back to the living room. Peeta's eyes don't leave the television screen, he grips a cold beer with his left hand, and the other is in a fist he's smashing against the couches arm.

"Go, go, GO!" He yells "God damn it Jefferson! Stanley was wide open!" This is a tradition of ours; he spends time with me every Friday night to watch football. I had to buy a television and a phone to keep up with my kids. Now I didn't know if I would ever get them back together.

"Who was it?" he asks without moving his eyes from the screen I sit down beside him and drink from my own beer.

"Effie, she was just checking in to see if I was still alive" he bursts out laughing at this but doesn't bother to continue the conversation. "How are things going for you, son?" I ask casually.

"What do you mean?" he slides his blue eyes over at me and lifts the beer to his lips. I give him a look "Oh you mean things with Cria?" I nod "It's over" he smiles "I didn't even know we had a thing until two hours ago when she dumped me"

I laugh "Last week you couldn't stop talking about her"

He looks at me as if I'm stupid "Well that was last week. It took me a while but I learnt that if you spend too much time trying for one woman no fruit will come from your actions, so now I move fast" he was referring to Katniss, we had a silent rule, we never spoke about her "You already knew that though"

I shake my head "sometimes I don't recognise the man sitting beside me as the boy I met eight years ago"

He laughs a little loudly, a clear sign that he's drunk "That's my goal"

….

I cry the entire way to district twelve. That is four long hours. By the time I stand and collect my game bag I feel like I'm built of feathers and could blow away at any second. I catch my reflection. My nose is still swollen and bruised from the fight I had with Gale two days ago and my eyes are red and puffy. I look absolutely horrendous.

As promised Haymitch stands waiting for me as I step off the train. His face is a mixture of concern, relief, love, and complete hatred towards Gale. He hugs me tightly for what seems like forever; I glance to the clock on the wall. We hugged for five entire minutes.

He takes my bag and brushes away my refusal "How's my favorite girl?" he asks, he keeps an arm around me. He reminds me of a mother racoon I once saw in the forest. He's filled with such fatherly concern and the need to protect, I can't blame him I've told him all the horrors of my marriage.

"She's happy to be home" I smile "I can't wait to be happily divorced"

Haymitch smiles "Guess what we are doing today? We're going to the justice building, right now"

I sigh "Finally, I can't wait to be Katniss Everdeen again"

"Amen" He agrees with a smile as we walk down the street to finally end the past five years of my life.

…

I moan and roll across my bed. What is that light? Why is it so bright? I open my eyes in frustration and look at the light. It's a dull patch of sunlight that peeks from behind the drawn curtains of my bedroom. It annoys me anyways.

I have a terrible headache; I sit up slowly and slide a hand across my face. I'm hung-over, I realize with a groan. Not again. I know Haymitch gave me some pain-killers for this, I just don't remember where I put them I crawl out of my bed towards the door. I'm too hung-over to care that I'm walking around in my boxers, the only other person who lives around here is Haymitch anyways, and he saw me on New Year's two years ago. I couldn't ever do anything more embarrassing than _that_.

I trudge about the kitchen for maybe ten minutes; each sound I make feels like someone is hitting my head with a bat. I do a little celebration dance when I find the little box of pills beside the sugar. I wonder why it's there.

Right, I've been hung-over for the past five years.

I ignore the reason why and swallow the pills without any water. I turn on the coffee machine since it makes less noise than the kettle and I decide to search my front yard for the paper. I'm walking around barefoot and in my grey boxers when I see Haymitch, I wave.

Then it hits me, he's not alone. Tucked under his arm like an injured bird is Katniss. Katniss Hawthorne. I gulp.

We stare at each other for a bit before I turn on my heel and march straight into my house. The door slams behind me, my hung-over state almost forgotten.

…..

When the door slammed it felt like a slap in the face. He looked great; at twenty-four Peeta was the most beautiful man I ever lay eyes on. It was unexpected to find him standing in front of his house, basically naked, with today's paper dangling from his fingers. He had always been organized, a morning person. It was twelve noon and he looked like he had just woken up.

Haymitch looks down at me, he looks embarrassed "He's just hung-over, don't take it personally"

I stare at him incredulously "Peeta drinks?"

Haymitch shrugs "Not all of the time. He spends too much time at the bakery to be a drunk. But he does, you know, drink. Yesterday he had around a whole six-pack for himself. But we were watching football, that's what you do when you watch football"

I shake my head "What happened here when I left?"

Haymitch looks at me with concern "Life changed all of us"

**Did you like it? Please Review! Do ****_you_**** think Peeta will ever let Katniss back into his life? Follow my story then and find out!**


	2. Family Reunion

**What will happen now? Read and find out!**

Chapter two: Family Reunion

I hear the bell ring from the front of the bakery; I hired a teenage boy to work the counter a couple of months ago. I just didn't feel like making polite conversation anymore.

"Hey Peeta" I turn around, the boy is looking at me "some guy wants to talk to you"

"Fine" I sigh and wipe my hands on my apron. It had been a week since I'd seen Katniss move back into the house directly across from me. Sometimes I could see her opening windows and dusting. Once I saw her dancing in her living room. She looked really happy. I wonder what happened to Gale.

It was Haymitch, I smile when I see him "What is it old man?"

He jerks his head towards the door "Walk with me"

We step out of the bakery and into the summer sun of District Twelve. Some kids are running around playing. I smile.

"Who's the kid?" he asks referring to the teenager that works the counter.

I laugh a little "I know this is terrible… but I have no idea what his name is. I only know he's Madge's kid"

Haymitch laughs before concern etches lines into his face "What happened to your people skills?"

I shrug "I don't really mind being quiet anymore"

Haymitch stares at me for a while, clearly worried "Is that what you came to talk to me about? Haymitch I'm fine. I have Annie, Finnick, Madge, Johanna and you. I don't need to talk to other people"

He sees that this battle is futile and begins to speak "We're having a family dinner"

I raise one of my eyebrows "So… you me, a steak and some beer?"

He laughs "No. Annie, Finnick, Madge, Johanna, Katniss, you and me" he pauses "Is that alright?"

"If you give me wine, alright" I run a hand through my hair, I try to sound casual "So, why is Katniss back in twelve?"

Haymitch beams, obviously glad for my question "She left Gale"

"What, did they get in a fight or something?" I stick my thumbs into my jean loops and kick a pebble around.

"I don't know if it's my place to tell you. It is Katniss's issue after all" Haymitch smiles. He's begging me to ask.

"You can tell me. It's not like I have much of any sort of relationship with her" I lift my eyes to the sky; I'm trying my hardest to keep my tone light. Why am I such a gossip?

"Her marriage was an abusive one. I kept on telling her to leave him ever since the two month mark. I even went all the way to her house more than once. I guess she finally had enough this time" he puts a heavy hand on my shoulder as if I'm going to cry or something "don't be mad, it didn't feel right to tell you"

I kick the ground hard. My face twists in pain "I'm not mad. Just mildly annoyed. If it was so bad why didn't she leave sooner?"

Haymitch stares at me for a second "She was scared"

I shake my head "Oh" I laugh without humour "of course she was"

"What are you thinking about?" he asks as confusion settles over his simple face.

I rip a hand through my hair, it hurt. "Nothing, it's just annoying"

He crosses his arm, clearly offended "It's annoying that Katniss had a terrible marriage? Listen to me Mellark-"

"That's not what I meant" I yell before he yells at me. Some people walking by turn to look at us, I glare at them "it's annoying that she would actually leave her whole life behind and let herself suffer at the hands of a man all of us knew was a monster. It's annoying that she came back until now, when I'm finally figuring stuff out. It's annoying that she never once called me for help when she knew I would have been there in a heartbeat. It's annoying that you're trying to get us to talk to each other again when we clearly don't have to. She doesn't need me and I definitely do not need her. We were teenagers, Haymitch. It was too long ago, it doesn't matter I was stupid then"

Haymitch looks at me with understanding. I hate that he's become a better person ever since he stopped being an alcoholic and I'm on the brink of being one "Admit it son, your angry and frustrated"

I sigh "Of course I'm angry and frustrated. I wanted her to be happy, I told myself she would be happy and now she's this broken being and I'm a bitter twenty-four-year old baker"

Haymitch hugs me; my arms hang limply by my sides "Come to dinner"

I feel my muscles relax and I hug him back "I'll bring the wine"

….

I'm actually surprised with myself. The house had been the land of dust and cobwebs when I walked in. but now only a week afterwards it was as good as new. The few belongings that I had brought with me sit nicely in a drawer by my nightstand. I open the drawer and open my wallet; I'm looking for a coin when I drop my birth-control pills. Another thing to thank Haymitch for, he would send them to me on the same day I went grocery shopping. If it wasn't for him I'd probably be nursing my eleventh child. I shiver at the mere thought.

I'm pushing up a heavy trunk of clothes from Cinna I had left in the basement up the stairs when I hear an insistent knocking on my door. I leave the trunk in a precarious position and head over to answer the door.

"I hope you can do a strong work load without straining your back old man because I need some hel.." my words die in my mouth once I open the door "Peeta" I say in surprise.

"I can help" he smiles and looks down at his hands "I realized I never welcomed you back home so here, I got you something" he extends his hands towards me "I hope you still like cheese buns. Haymitch said you don't drink so I got you cherry wine, which basically doesn't count as alcohol in my book, so let's call it cherry coke"

I laugh and take his gifts, I head towards the kitchen he follows "I'll make you a deal, if you help me, I'll give you a cheese bun and all of the cherry 'coke'"

He smiles "Deal"

He ends up carrying the trunk upstairs while I shout for him to put it down before he falls backwards and dies. He laughs and tells me he's carried bags of flour that are much heavier. I sigh and guide him to where I want the trunk.

"So…" I attempt to make conversation while we stand in my bedroom and stare at each other "How have you been? Do still paint?"

He scratches the back of his head "No, I stopped a year ago, lost interest"

I widen my eyes in surprise "You used to spend entire nights painting"

He studies his shoes intently and shrugs "I've stopped doing a lot of things I used to love lately"

"Oh" I say plainly.

"How about you, do you still hunt?" he looks around my room.

"There isn't much to hunt in District Two, unless you're into having a pigeon for dinner"

He laughs and I absorb the sound. I can't remember the last time I heard him laugh "Do you still sing?"

I hug myself "no one has really wanted to hear me sing in the past five years"

"Oh" he says, he frowns a little "that's preposterous, you have an incredible singing voice"

I smile "Thanks, Gale hated my singing said it was annoying and repetitive"

Peeta looks angry "Gale's an ass"

"He is" I nod "Are you going to Haymitch's for dinner tonight?"

"Yeah, Haymitch said that no one can bring wine, he's worried about me"

"I heard" I smile "I never pictured you drinking before"

He shrugs "It helps when I can't sleep"

"Why don't you paint instead?"

"I have nothing to paint" he says curtly "I have no thoughts to express"

I'm surprised by his little confession "Maybe you should start trying again. You were really good"

He looks at me suspiciously "Do you think I'm turning into Haymitch?"

"No, you're just turning into an angry version of yourself" I say matter-of-factly.

"Then I'm turning into my mother?" he sounds very worried now, I step closer to him the way I would approach a wounded animal.

I touch his shoulder "No Peeta, if you're turning into anyone, you're turning into me when we were teenagers"

He laughs "I'm acting like an angry sixteen-year-old girl. That's attractive"

I smile; I'm not sure how to talk to him anymore. He's changed so much in five years. Instead of thinking I just say the first thing that comes to my head "Do you want to walk around the forest with me? I'll try to kill an animal again if you try to draw something"

He looks at me questionably, as if waiting for the punch line before slowly nodding "Alright, I'll get a sketch book"

"I'll look for a weapon then"

…

I feel sorry for him as we walk into the forest, now I realize what it must have been like dealing with me for such a long period of time back when we were kids. It must have been incredibly frustrating. Now as we walk side-by-side I can't decide what I should tell him. Why did he have to end up being the angry one? He was always so good with words, now he barely talks at all.

I try to go with the first thing that pops into my head "What did you do after I left? Anything happen you could share with me?"

He considers for a minute. A part of me believes he wanted to go with the darkest answer he could muster "The night you left Haymitch tried to jump off the roof, claimed he was going to kill himself"

"Why?" I gasp in utter shock.

He bewilders me by laughing "he said he wanted you to wake him up instead of me. He was pretty drunk, but he kept on mumbling about how he needed someone to dump water on him in the morning"

"That's a little sick" I comment and pull my coat closer to myself.

"That's how he expresses emotion"

I look up at him, he's occupied as he stares at a leaf "I'm really happy to see you again"

He closes his eyes and sighs "Can you please not say that sort of thing?"

I raise my eyebrows "How come?"

"Because" he begins to walk faster, I have to jog to keep up "I tried really hard to forget you. I stopped painting so that I wouldn't have to keep drawing your face. I stopped making cheese buns because you like them; I stopped talking to a lot of people because I always find a resemblance between you and an absolute stranger. I even stopped buying things that were green. Green Katniss, I can't stand the color green, look at this place, it's all green!" he breathes deeply, he's about a yard away from me "and now you're here again and I don't know what to do. I'm turning into a whole new person who I strongly dislike just so I don't have to think about you. It's hard to stop thinking about someone you've been thinking about since age five."

My bottom lip trembles and I will myself to stop the tears "I'm sorry"

"No don't cry this isn't your fault" he sighs, he even reaches for me but drops his hand "it's just been hard, you were a major part of my life Katniss. For God's sake, I lost my virginity to you!" He covers his face "I don't know why I'm yelling at you"

I walk up to him and awkwardly hug him. He's still in the same position when I pull away. I open my mouth to speak but he pulls me in for a hug "I'm really glad you're ok, Kat. Haymitch told me about Gale"

I savor the hug "Gale's an ass" I murmur and feel his body shake as he laughs.

"Yeah, he is" he carefully runs his fingers through my hair, as if he's waiting for me to snap at him. I don't. It almost feels like were teenagers again and he's just holding me, telling me that things will be fine. The thing is that now the roles are reversed.

"I'm still very happy to see you" I mumble quietly.

He sighs and squeezes me "I can't begin to tell you how ecstatic I am to see you" he grips my shoulders and pulls away enough so that were looking at each other "Are you willing to look past how insane I am and will allow our friendship?"

I'm slightly disappointed by the word 'friendship' but I'll take whatever I can get "gladly" I answer. We hug again.

"I think I've made Haymitch proud" Peeta whispers against my hair.

…

I trudge back into my house. Katniss fed me a couple of cheese buns but next to nothing of wine. That annoys me, but I promised Haymitch that I wouldn't today. So I march up to my bedroom and throw myself onto my bed and groan. I feel an itching in my fingers and I know that it's the want to paint. I groan again. I don't want to get up.

Instead I think about Katniss, which is against my self-imposed rules but I think about her anyways. I think about her brilliant smile and silky hair. I think about how funny she is and the way her hips sway when she walks. I shake my head, but I can't stop thinking about her. Not all my thoughts are clean, which does not help me at all, but I keep on thinking about her. I remember the first time I kissed her; I remember the first night she stayed with me because she couldn't sleep. I remember the look on her face when she wakes up in the morning; I remember when I lost my virginity. I linger on that. Then I think about how great our life would be if she'd just married me when we were eighteen. I try to imagine how our kids would look like which is nice. I try to imagine the way her name would sound like when people read it out loud. I smile. Katniss Mellark, I like that. It almost sounds natural, which is stupid. Because I have been trying to hate Katniss for years and I've never really accomplished anything, I can barely bring myself to think of something that I dislike about her.

I groan loudly again and I almost have a heart attack when I feel a soft hand on my shoulder. It's her she stands before me with a confused look. "Are you in pain? It sounded like you were" she says.

I'm so incredibly confused to see her in my bedroom that I speak without thinking "How'd you get into my house?"

She steps back and I think I recognize hurt register on her face, so I spring to my feet and get dizzy in the process "That isn't what I meant to say" I fall back on my bed because the world is spinning "I can see three of you" I blink rapidly.

She laughs and sits next to me "You left your sketchbook, and if you're not going to start locking your front door anytime soon, you should probably leave it closed." I feel myself blush at her explanation, I'm always acting like an idiot around her "also, Haymitch expects to you at his house in fifteen minutes"

"Oh" I get up take off my shirt and dig around my dresser for a fresh one. I hear her clear her throat; I turn to look at her.

"Should I leave?" She squints her eyes a little "yeah I probably should" Katniss stands and walk out my bedroom door, she turns around to look at me "you look nice in your boxers"

My face turns hot in a matter of seconds "Thanks"

…

"Katniss, I'm so happy to see you!" Annie embraces me the moment I step into Haymitch's house "it's been too long"

I'm touched by her words; I missed her terribly for the past five years. Gale didn't let me communicate with my old friends during our marriage, he was always jealous "I missed you so much more than words can express" I feel myself tearing up.

When Annie pulls away her eyes are also on the brink of letting lose a waterfall "Come, I want you to meet my son Jonathan" she takes my hand and guides me into the living room where Peeta and Haymitch are playing some game with building blocks with a red-headed toddler.

"Boom!" the child giggles as he destroys whatever it was he was building "look Pee-tah look!"

"Are invading my city Johnny boy?" Peeta ruffles the boy's hair "We'll see about _that_"

"What about me?" Haymitch asks looking entirely confused as he tries to figure out the game.

"You lost!" Jonathan laughs in the most adorable fashion I have ever seen "Pee-tah beat you!"

I turn to Annie as we watch from the doorway "Can I keep him?"

Annie's face is glowing as she watches her son "he's like happiness in a bottle"

She was right he was.

We turn to the kitchen where I see the back of a red-headed man "Finnick is that really you?" I ask as we come near him.

He turns with a smile, he has some sugar cubes in his hand "Hey Katniss, long time no see" he hugs me tight and I cannot comprehend how I haven't burst into tears yet.

Behind him is Johanna who smiles at me "Where've you been, Brainless?" We hug each other too and when all of us have hugged and I'm trying not to cry Finnick touches my arm.

"Will you have a sugar cube now?" he extends his hand

I laugh and feel my cheeks grow damp "Gladly"

…

It feels like the past five years never happened. We all pick up where we left off. Johanna still enjoys making snide comments at all times, which only grow funnier the more wine you pump into her. Finnick is still as carefree as ever only that now he's a caring father who I can tell wishes he could play with his son all the time. Annie seems to be the face of happiness as she cuts her sons meat and receives various small kisses from Finnick. She is in entire control of her mind. Haymitch cracks a couple of jokes while routinely making sure Peeta is drinking water at all times. This feels strange to me, Peeta wouldn't dishonor his word. He's too busy anyways talking to Johanna.

"So" Annie looks at me from across the table "what are your plans for the future Katniss?"

I feel Peeta's eyes on me "I want to be alone for a while" I smile "I want to remember how it's like to live alone. I want to be myself again"

Annie seems glad "That's great, you _did_ just get divorced after all"

"Yeah" I shake my head "I can't believe it. Everything keeps on happening so fast, it's beautiful"

Johanna waves her hands in the air "don't be alone for too long, you start morphing into a different human being, look at Peeta and I who are we?"

Peeta shrugs "she's had a little too much to drink"

Madge who I had forgotten was here smiles "I agree divorce can be a beautiful thing. I divorced Lenny and I haven't been happier"

I tip my glass towards her "Amen"

…

**I hope you like this story, please review! **


	3. Privacy

**Welcome reader! Enjoy my story!**

Chapter three: Privacy.

I stretch myself on my couch in front of my television; my fingers are around a hot mug of tea. I'm hoping for a quiet evening, one where I don't think about Peeta, or my divorce and I can just sit and breathe. Then I hear the screaming.

"Screw you Peeta Mellark!" the high pitched voice of a woman makes my eyes open, I walk over to my window and peek from under the curtain. Peeta is standing in his front yard watching a dark haired woman make her way down the driveway.

She kind of looks like me.

"Well, have a nice life Cria!" He shouts back in an annoyed fashion "don't come back!"

The woman burst out laughing and continues walking away "Yeah, happily"

Once the woman is gone I go into my kitchen and pour some tea into a red mug. I slip into my boots and walk across the street to him. He's sitting on the front steps of his house running his hands through his hair.

"Some tea neighbour?" I smile and sit beside him, he takes the red mug.

"Thanks" he mumbles and kicks at the floor.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask over my mug. He sighs and looks at me.

"There isn't much to talk about" he drinks some of his tea; I see his eyes brighten in recognition.

"I know it's your favorite." I look at my house "also it has two raw sugar cubes. The type you like"

I know he smiles beside me, I can feel it "To tell you the truth I have no idea what just happened. A week ago Cria and I broke up, but she was here when I got home. Then we started fighting and that happened" he nods towards the street.

"Why did you fight?" I lean back a little, this conversation bothers me. Peeta has relationships with women who look like me; it's too out of the ordinary.

"Apparently I'm not willing to commit" he laughs without humour "yeah right"

"So, do you think she'll come back?" I pick at my hair which I haven't braided in a while; the braid reminds me of Gale.

"I really hope she won't, her feelings are all over the place, I never know what's happening" he shakes his head "won't you get cold in just that shirt?"

I finally look at him "it's the middle of summer Peeta"

He nods as if he had forgotten "right" we are silent for an immeasurable moment until he speaks again "So I started to paint again. I'm incredibly out of practice but I think it's decent"

My eyes lock with his and I smile "Can I see?"

…..

"You're too modest, this is beautiful" I drink the last of my tea as I stand beside him "just admit it, you're good"

He laughs lightly "You always thought that everything I did was amazing" he looks a little sad as he stares at his painting. I don't understand why.

I reach out and put a hand on his shoulder, we both look at the beautiful painting he did of the woods at sunset. Every time I look at it, it takes my breath away. It feels like I'm there.

We stand there for a while, I stare at him and he stares at nothing in particular. I feel devastated every time I see him. I'm just reminded that my love for him came too late.

Once I leave I set about getting ready for bed. I wash the dishes, brush my hair, and change my clothes. I'm sitting on the edge of my bed after having brushed my teeth holding the pearl Peeta gave me when the phone rings.

I run towards it and answer "Hello?"

"Katniss, it's me" I gulp at the sound of that voice.

"Mother?"

…

I'm cleaning my painting supplies and building a mental list of things I should buy. I remember to stay away from the color green, it still bothers me.

There's loud knocks on the front of my door, I sigh believing it to be Cria.

"I told you already, I don't want to have a relationship with you" I open the door and feel my mouth hang open. Katniss stands before me in tears.

"May I come in?" she fumbles with her hands "Haymitch wasn't home, I didn't know who else to go to..."

"No, no. its fine come in" I open the door wider, she darts towards my living room "what happened?"

She looks at me with her wide gray eyes and I feel all of my walls crumble, I reach for her and hold her tight "My mother called" she whispers against my shirt "it was about Gale"

I tense up, expecting her to proclaim her love for him to me again, instead she surprises me "She said that I've disappointed her. Gale told her some twisted story. She thinks I was cheating on him with you. She doesn't know about Gale and the beatings"

My blood runs cold "Gale beat you?"

She digs her fingers into my back desperately as if I would let go of her "That's not the point, my mother is siding with _him_. Do you have any idea what that does to me?"

I look down at her and nod, remembering my own mother "I know what it does" I let go of her, she looks at me in surprise "Sit down I'm going to fix this"

"How?" she calls after me as I disappear into the kitchen. I return with two bottles of wine and some vodka.

"The old fashion way, drink up"

…..

I feel very warm; I tell Peeta this he laughs. He says I must be drunk. This is funny, I've never been drunk. Peeta holds his liquor better than I do. I feel better now. He was right there is no point for me to cry over my mother, there is nothing I can do at this point.

I take a shot of vodka and make a face "This is nice" I suck on some lime that he sliced; we've made a mess of his coffee table.

"I've never drank this much in my life" he confesses "this is Haymitch drunk"

I give him a look "If we'd done this earlier I probably wouldn't have bothered marrying Gale. I needed to relax, I was so tense back then" I stretch my fingers towards him "I want to sleep with you tonight, and I don't mean _sleep_" I wiggle my eyebrows, Peeta gives me a look.

"You've had enough" he announces before taking away my vodka, I frown.

"You don't want to sleep with me?" I've never been this disappointed in my life, my face falls.

"Not when you're pumped up on vodka I don't" He stands up and stumbles a bit, he reaches for me "Up you go"

He slides his arms under me and carries me out his front door, I protest the entire time. He refuses to let me down; he says something about me falling on my face. So I huff and let him stumble to my house.

"I think I like vodka" I announce as he sets me down on my bed.

"I can tell" he says as he helps me take off my boots and tucks me in "'Night Kat"

"Wait" I say without any idea as to what my game plan is, I'm just so buzzed "Stay here, please, I'll feel better if you do. What if you pass out on the street?"

He mumbles something about New Year's Eve two years ago, but he kicks off his boots and crawls across my body towards the other side of the bed.

"Happy?" he looks at me looks at me slightly annoyed.

"Can you help me take off my bra?" I ask his sleepily "I hate sleeping with my bra on"

He gives me a blank look "I'm not having sex with you"

"That's not what I'm asking" I grin "do you want me to mumble stupidly the entire night?"

He groans "Fine. But next time I get incredibly drunk I'll have expectations for you"

I let him fumble away for a minute before laughing "It unclasps at the front"

He makes a frustrated noise and reaches into my shirt, he stares at me "We are never speaking of this"

I nod and grin. He tosses my bra to the floor "'Night Kat"

"Goodnight Peeta" I yawn before the world fades into black.

…

I open my eyes groggily and I'm hit by how much my head hurts, it's like there's an entire construction crew working away at my skull. I moan in pain. I turn on the bed and am rewarded with a face-full of Peeta's hair. It smells nice, like cinnamon.

I hear him groan a little, he mumbles under his breath. I stroke his back and try to lie to myself. I tell myself he doesn't hate me, he's just here because he loves me.

He moves and falls right off the bed; he sits up immediately with an alarmed look on his face. He sees me staring at him and begins to panic "Did I do anything?"

I check myself and make a disappointed face "No"

He sighs in relief, I glare at him. He laughs at me "Why are you so angry?"

I clutch at my head; his laughter hurt "Why do you have to have your morals so incredibly well set that I can't even sway you when you're drunk?"

He gets up slowly and decides to ignore my question. That's something I used to do to him when he was in love with me. I sigh, I deserved that.

"Do you have anything for a pounding headache?" He touches his head lightly and winces.

I wave towards the general direction of my night stand "In there somewhere"

He pulls open a drawer and begins to search about, I hear him let loose a low whistle "That's a lot of birth control. I'm going to borrow some"

My heart stops and I sit up immediately "No Peeta stop" but it's too late, he sees it. My case is out in the open, my head falls into my hands. He found the pearl and the picture. Oh God, the picture.

"I can't believe you kept this" he says softly, I peek from under my fingers and watch him appreciate the pearl carefully "why?" he looks at me I lift my head and stare blankly at him.

"Because I love you" I say weakly "I thought you knew"

He closes his eyes and shakes his head "Don't lie to me, Katniss"

"I'm not lying" My voice is barely more than a whisper, Peeta stands up immediately and puts the pearl back into the drawer.

"I have to go" he says curtly "I can't be here"

"Peeta?"

He basically runs out of my house "I can't do this anymore"

I stay in my bed for the rest of the day.

**Thoughts? I personally like the way it's going, I hope you do as well.**

**Cassandraishere**


	4. Meetings

**I am so sorry for uploading this chapter so incredibly late I just had such a hard time writing this chapter, I cannot explain to you the extent of my writers block therefore I won't. There is a very large possibility that this chapter may not satisfy your reading needs to their full extent, I apologize in advance for such a foul move on my part.**

Chapter Four: Meetings

"Aren't you happy? Isn't this what you've been hoping to hear for years?"

"No Finnick, I'm not happy. I had to wait for her to step through more than one near death experience, she had to get married to some guy who beat her, and then she had to get drunk out of her mind on vodka. So no I'm not happy, if anything this is emasculating" I'm angrily kneading some dough as I press the cordless phone to my ear with my shoulder. I've been in the bakery ever since I ran out of Katniss' house. I didn't even change I just showed up smelling of a combination of wine, vodka, and Katniss.

Finnick is quiet for a minute "She did have a rough time. Maybe you should go easier on her"

I sigh and feel instantly guilty "I know she had a tough time"

"Also" Finnick adds "You are the only meaningful relationship she's ever had. She must be so confused"

"Yeah, I know."

"It is also you're only meaningful relationship" he points out.

I snort "I've had plenty of relationships"

"I said meaningful" Finnick gets really quiet, I sigh.

"Can you not mention this to Haymitch? He'd probably start planning our wedding or something" Finnick laughs and I stop kneading the dough.

"I'll see you soon Peeta, don't fight with Katniss"

"See you soon, and I can't make any promises" We both laugh and I hang up the phone.

…

Haymitch stares down at me, clearly disappointed. I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor. I know I'm acting like a child but it's the only way I've figure how to make a point across.

"You've been in this house for two days, time to get outside" he says slowly.

"If I go out with you you'll take me to see _him_" I take a calming breath "I don't have a reason to go outside anyways"

Haymitch seems to give up "Look, I don't know what happened between the two of you but you'll have to face him eventually. He lives across the street from you"

I stare at the wooded floor.

"Also" he continues "from what I've gathered you need to go grocery shopping. Haven't you been living off instant noodles the past few days?"

I sigh, defeated "I'll get my coat"

…..

I whistle to myself as I carry a paper bag packed with meat, dairy, and produce back to the Victors Village. The lack of people I know unnerves me, everyone seems to recognize me.

It has been a long day.

Haymitch sets a bag he's carried for me on my porch he makes me promise to cook myself something so he doesn't find me starved. After we say our goodbye's I fish around my pockets for my keys. My breath catches once I see the door open for me, holding it open is the last person I'd want to see.

….

By the time I get home I'm fatigued, I worked hard at the bakery today, I convinced myself that if I worked hard enough my thoughts would quit their nagging. I was of course wrong. Physical exertion is no match for a guilty conscience.

I stand in my shower longer than usual; I'm on the verge of blacking out. Yet I know that if I do I'll slip into guilt fuelled nightmares. My mind was working hard to get me out of my house.

After half an hour of deliberation I give in. I shove a blue sweater past my head and jump into a pair of jeans. My hair is still soaking wet, but I'll risk getting a cold if that means I get that little voice in my head to shut up.

I'm lifting my fist to knock on her door when it opens to furious woman.

"It's _you_" Katniss' mother points one of her long fingers at my nose, I'm forced to blink "Perfect timing may I add!"

I look past her into the house, it's clear that an argument is happening here, somebody broke a vase and Katniss is breathing rapidly, basically shaking in anger at the foot of the stairs.

I motion with my thumb at my house "Maybe I should come back?"

"No _you _are as much part of the problem as she is" Mrs. Everdeen pulls me into the house with more strength than I thought she could possibly have.

Why am I even here?

"Mother, let him go home" Katniss says with an ironic calm considering her appearance "he doesn't need to be part of this"

I look at the other woman who seems to find these words humours "You can't tell me that the reason you left your husband of five years isn't important in this discussion"

My mouth forms the shape of an "O" this is the fight she had been dreading when she got drunk out of her mind. I'm instantly angered.

Before Katniss goes to scream something about there being no need for me here I lift my hand "No, I want to be here" she gives be a bewildered look but decides to stalk off into her kitchen her mother screaming behind her while she nods at each word, she's clearly exasperated.

"Mrs. Everdeen" I say calmly as I lean against a counter, the woman turns to look at me with wide eyes "have you asked your daughter her part of the story?"

She glares at me.

I nod and laugh sourly "Of course you haven't. You see, you've been left ignorant of many facts that are privy to this situation" I cross my arms and feel slightly like a psychologist "I won't reveal them since this is Katniss' story to tell, also I barely know what happened. All I know that by yelling at her blindly you're simply acting like, excuse the language, a little bitch"

Katniss grins at me from behind her mother and I feel slightly warmer.

Mrs. Everdeen stares at me with her mouth hanging open. I decide that while she's silent I may as well close the conversation "Now if you don't mind, I have to have a private conversation with your daughter" I reach over for Katniss' arm and guide her towards the hallway.

"Thank you" she smiles gratefully.

I shrug "It was no problem, it was actually easier than I thought" I run my right hand through my hair "I came to talk to you about… you know"

She sighs "I'm sorry about that" I'd never seen Katniss this open, so unguarded "I know you didn't want to hear it, I'm... sorry"

"No, I came to apologize for making you feel uneasy. I didn't mean to hurt you" I stare at my hands, I'd never felt this awkward and helpless.

Katniss extends her hand towards me; her fingertips slightly brush my chin lifting my face so I'm forced to look at her. The look on her face makes my guilt increase; she's on the verge of tears "I'll manage"

I remember my conversation with Finnick, this isn't a fight, yet I believe I would feel better if we had fought. I pull her against me and hug her; I can't offer her anything more without possibly destroying all that is left of my sanity, my dignity, my resolve. I just want to hold her until all that is wrong between us disappears, but that's impossible. We're too broken to fix things.

At least that's what I tell myself I feel.

…..

Someone clears their throat behind Peeta and I dread the feeling of him pulling away from me. His scent of cinnamon and dill lingers on me as I try not to cry.

"I'm leaving" my mother says curtly, mixed emotions clear on her face.

"Bye mom" I croak, not trusting myself to say anything else without breaking down.

"I should go also" Peeta cracks his knuckles as he backs away from me "I've got, to paint a cake, I-I mean I have to bake a cake" again Peeta basically runs out of my house I feel myself deflate and I feel the need to sit down. I lay myself on the ground.

My mother kneels beside me and takes one of my hands "I don't know what to think" she whispers.

I close my eyes "Maybe you should take some time to reflect on things"

I feel my mother awkwardly pat my hair, and then the door closes softly behind her. I sigh, unsure of where I stand on all of my relationships.

A part of me wants to get up and march into Peeta's house so I can attack him and let go of my frustrations. While another part of me wants to curl up on my bed and not think about it at all. Instead of doing any of that I do the only thing I know will result an unviolated Peeta and a less depressed me. I grab my boots and head off into the woods, time to hunt.

….

"Thanks Finn, you've been really helpful" I shuffle past the channels on the stupid television "I can't wait till I can get these kids to lower the drama and just go back to normal. I'm exhausted"

Finnick laughs "No problem, as long as they don't find out my secret identity as Judas we're good here"

"Just make sure to have Katniss exactly where I need her to be" I pause my channel surfing and look thoughtfully at a woman bouncing up and down on a game show, I make a face and continue surfing "I'll take care of the boy"

…

"Where are you taking me?" I gasp as I try to keep up with Finnick, after a very therapeutic evening of slaughtering animals I was hoping for a long shower and some nice alone time. That was _not _what Finnick had in mind. He burst through my door, a ridiculous smile on his lips and announced that this would be the best night of my life. I of course only stared at him in confusion.

He has a strong grip on my arm and is pulling me after him down the driveway "It's a long story Kat"

I nod, waiting for him to continue.

He sighs "I'm just trying to help get you laid"

I raise an eyebrow "excuse me, what?"

He laughs "I'm married now, God. I'm helping you in a friendly way; I'm guiding you to the men"

I roll my eyes "This is stupid"

"You won't be saying that in a couple of hours!" he cries out cheerfully and picks up the pace "Hurry up!"

….

"I'm very busy right now, Haymitch" I murmur as I peek under my couch. I'm looking for my favorite pencil. I don't understand how I lost it "I don't have time for this"

"Come on!" he says almost in exasperation "I'll get you some tequila or something"

I bark a laugh "I'm twenty-four if I want to get wasted I can by myself, thank you very much"

Haymitch sighs in frustration "Look, I just need you to this this one thing for me. I did drag your naked body off the street on New Year's Eve two years ago"

I glare at him and jab a finger at him "You promised we were _never_ to talk about that again"

"I'll talk about it all the time, about how you were on the roof of the bakery, shouting…"

"Fine I'll do it! Just don't, ever" I cut him off shaking my head, the memory had invaded my mind. I had sworn to myself to never get that carried away again.

Haymitch's face lights up "You're not going to regret this, I swear. You're going to be so happy after this"

"Yeah, yeah" I walk ahead of him in search of my coat before giving him a pointed look "we are never speaking about that day again, understood?"

"Sure, after all you are a pretty princess and…"

"Stop it! Come on! Just stop!" I cut him off in a shout as we walk out the door, Haymitch can't help but burst out laughing.

….

"Honestly Finnick, where are you taking me?" I hear the strain in my voice; I'm inches away from ripping this man's head off if I don't get an answer out of him.

"We're really close. Don't worry about it, you'll thank me after this" Finnick still hasn't wiped that incredibly annoying smile off his face. We're in the woods and he still is walking al little too fast for me to keep up without tripping.

"Thank you for what Finn?! Where are we going?!" I shout loud enough that I hear some birds stir; I breathe deeply attempting to calm myself. It's clear to me that Finnick is trying to do something nice. If I kill him now I _think_ I'll regret it, I think.

"We're here!" Finnick bounces ahead of me and drops my arm. I look around entirely confused. We're at the lake my father used to take me to, the small cottage somehow despite the years still stands, Katniss roots surround the lake. The cottage reveals signs of life. Someone repaired it recently, no windows are broken and the door looks to be in pretty good shape. From within I notice light flickering. We aren't alone.

"What in the world?" I mumble as I step gingerly after an unreasonably content Finnick. He's grinning from ear to ear and I wonder idly if his face hurts. He stands before the door, which I notice has some sort of metal work attached to it.

"This is where our journey ends" he says almost reverently as he moves to open the door "I apologise in advance if this doesn't work out well"

I open my mouth to speak but the words are not quick enough. Before my mind has time to process what is happening to me Finnick opens the door in one swift movement. He pushes me inside and I stumble, the door is shut immediately. Too late I realize the door must lock from the outside. The metal work, of course; I bang my fists against the door and attempt to open it to no avail.

"I'm sorry Kat, but Haymitch and I decided that someone had to do it since you wouldn't do it by yourselves. I'll be back the day after tomorrow to free you alright?"

"What? No!" I shout before I hear the sound of Finnick's footsteps fading. I stare at the door for a minute; I attempt to convince myself this is a dream. This can't possibly be happening to me. A noise behind me startles me; I turn immediately and press myself against the door.

He smiles sadly at me "He got you too? I can't believe he would actually go to such extreme measures" Peeta shakes his head and bites into an apple he's holding, he has stepped in from another room.

I stare at him for a moment really contemplating the irritated look he gives me as I try to ignore the small voice in the back of my head that insists that maybe Finnick was right. Maybe, just maybe, this may be the best night of my life.

I must be insane.

**Hey guys! Don't forget to review, I promise I'll get the next chapter out faster than I did this one, I do!**

**Cassandraishere.**


	5. Decisions and Embraces

**I decided to leave the whole lemons thing to a very mild note since some of you weren't too comfortable with the idea of well... detailed sex. So here is the new chapter, It may be slightly rushed since I'm trying to steer us into the course of action I'm hoping to hit here, I didn't even reveal what that course of action may be here, instead I decided to focus on the progress with Peeta and Katniss' relationship. I hope you enjoy it!**

Chapter Five: Decisions and Embraces

"What do we do?" Peeta stares back at me his apple making it halfway back to his mouth before he pauses; clearly studying me "is something wrong?"

I shake off the warmth that has enveloped me and attempt to speak "We've been locked into a confined space. Of course something is wrong"

Peeta chuckles and heads of in the direction of the fireplace, the room's main source of light "Maybe it won't be that bad"

I walk over to him, maybe a little too hopeful "Let's catch up, we haven't seen much of each other"

He turns around and studies me again an uncertain light in his eyes "Alright, as you wish. What do you want to talk about?"

I struggle to find a topic as I sit in front of the fireplace, Peeta follows suit "How's work?"

He shrugs while swallowing a large amount of apple, I feel slightly jealous of the fruit "Same as always. I beat a piece of dough, and then I decorate a cake. Sometimes I get burned" he adds as an afterthought.

I smile at his uninterested "Very interesting"

He laughs, I take my time to appreciate the sound "What about you, how has twelve been treating you?"

"It's boring, I won't lie to you. I mostly clean all day. There is just so much dust everywhere! I guess I'm just being paranoid, but I can't bring myself to watch TV. I don't like it"

He smiles "I always thought you were the slob and I was the perfectionist"

I give him a look "Do you see how bored I am?"

We laugh and sit staring off into space when the sound dies out. What do we talk about? Clearly nothing sensitive if we want to make it in this small space without going mad; why do I feel so out of place?

Peeta opens his mouth to speak but I have no patience "I miss you" I blurt before anyone can stop me "I miss waking up beside you, I miss how you smell of cinnamon and dill, I miss how annoyed you get when I insist on putting sugar in your tea, I miss the way you double knot your laces, I miss how you used to say 'always', I miss you kissing you Peeta. I miss everything about you"

Peeta reaches over to wipe the tears I didn't realize I was shedding with his fingers "Oh, Katniss…" he trails off.

I feel anger bubble inside of me "O Katniss what? Just finish a sentence already! If you don't love me anymore just say it, I want you to look at me and say it and I'll put the whole subject to rest. I just need confirmation here!"

He seems to struggle for words, something I cannot comprehend. He shakes his head and tosses the apple into the fire. The look he gives me takes my breath away; I have no time to appreciate the absolute need and pain I see for he has lunged at me. Peeta lunges at me and peppers my entire face with kisses.

I can barely breathe.

Peeta rests on the palms of his hands I don't feel a single part of him touch me he simply looks at me and rest his forehead against mine "Why are you doing this to me?" his voice is barely above a whisper, his eyes are closed tightly.

"I'm not doing anything" I say breathlessly and pull him down to me, finally my lips meet his, my body instantly reacts by bursting into flames.

I feel Peeta lose whatever resolve he had to not touch me as he melts into my touch. I roll on top of him and refuse to break up this kiss. I've waited too long for this; I feel my hands begin to shake.

He pushes away from me gasping for air, I'm glad for the way he looks at me, with lust. "Are you sure?" he speaks carefully his eyebrows begin to knit together.

"I've been thinking about this moment for the past five years do not question me, Mellark" I speak sternly, with authority as I run my finger down his chest, annoyed by the existence of his shirt.

He needs no more permission for the shirt is gone, he reaches for mine and almost angrily tosses it away "I like your hair like this" he pinches a single curl "don't braid it again" it sounds like a command. He pulls me down again, his mouth invades mine with hunger, I kick off my boots, and I feel him do the same.

He pushes down my chin with his thumb to open my mouth and I let him, feeling a flutter deep within me. I can tell he is trying to be careful with me, his hands only stay on my back and it frustrates me. I take action, my shaking hands reach for the button of his jeans. He groans into my mouth, I smile and softly bite down on his bottom lip.

After the offensive jeans are down to his knees I straddle him, my heart beat racing, I can feel blood pounding in my ears. He's ready for me and I can't help the grin that breaks onto my face.

He sits up and moves on to work my neck as I struggle to keep up breathing, my fingers are in his hair before I'm able to register what is happening. The last time I had sex with Peeta I was a virgin, I had been confused and slightly afraid by the idea. Now I could tell he knew what he was doing. He was kneading my breasts like an expert and sucking on my skin like there was no tomorrow. There are three layers between us. His boxers, my pants and panties; the heat has raised so to the point of driving me crazy.

He's busy playing with my nipples, I'm too distracted to realize that he must have taken my bra off and I have no memory of such thing. I hold him closer to me, which is physically impossible as I whisper the last coherent words I'll speak for a while "Fuck me"

….

I'm dizzy; the only sound in the room is our never ending panting, the wet slapping noises, and the long list of sounds I keep on crying out. I'm not even sure as to what in the hell I'm saying, all I know is that I don't want this moment to end. I have lost count of how many times I've climaxed, by the time I come off one high I'm shot straight into another. I know I'll be sore all over my body but I don't care, I just need him to touch me, to never let go.

I trail my nail down his spine and I feel him shiver. I wrap my legs around him, I need him closer still, and I don't care if it crushes me. His fingers find my swollen clit and I scream louder than before "Oh God Shit…" my heart is beating so fast I swear he should be able to hear it. He groans and smashes harder into me all the way to the hilt, and I'm so close to passing out, I can see stars.

He groans again, his hot breath tickles my neck and he starts shouting my name like it's some sort of mantra "Katniss, Katniss, Katniss, Katniss…" he makes all this beautiful strangled noises that throw me off the edge again. I can tell he's close because he starts pounding faster and harder, smashing me into the wooden floor without mercy. He pulls away from me enough to look into my eyes when it happens, I watch his face contort in pleasure as he lets his load flow into me, he pumps for another minute before slumping on his side; He's breathing as if he's been running for hours.

I try to breathe evenly as I feel his seed spread through me and slowly pool around my thighs with my own juices. The smell of sex is extremely concentrated; I feel my lips pulsing from the friction. He runs a finger over my tight belly. I look at him he's smiling.

"Well that was an unexpected turn of events. I guess I should do that every time we run out of things to say then?"

I snort loudly and I smile back at him, the words flow naturally from my tongue "I love you, Peeta"

He grins "I love you too, Katniss, always have always will"

…

"I could always break the window" Peeta says as he walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. I've been standing by the window staring longingly at the lake for some time. Clearly I've been standing here for too long.

"With what?" I raise an eyebrow curiously as I lean back into his warmth.

He looks around "I'll find something" he disappears into the other room I hadn't bothered checking, I go back to staring at the lake. The water twinkles beautifully, like precious jewels when exposed to the sun. I close my eyes and imagine I can feel the cool waters silky touch slide across my skin. The silent breeze whisper my name, I imagine the soft leaves and grass stick to my damp skin.

A loud crashing sound jolts me away from my thoughts and my eyes fly open. Peeta has smashed a window open by throwing some sort of metal object at the glass window. It seems wide enough for a successful escape.

"Resourceful. Good work" I half laugh as I carefully step past the shards of broken glass. The cool breeze that slips past the green leaves of the tall aged trees makes me giddy.

"Ladies first" Peeta says before carefully lifting me past the broken window, I land lightly on my feet, I step back as Peeta leaps through the window.

When I see him safely on his feet I run to the lake and strip down to my undergarments. The water against my skin feels like liberation, like a long awaited meal to my hungry skin, like the release of a deep breath.

Peeta stands near the edge of the water watching me as I frolic like a giggling child. I leap and dive while he regards me with a silly grin. I probably look ridiculous, my waist long hair plastered to my sides. I turn to face him with a wild grin on my face; I reach for him my fingers stretching to encourage him.

"Come here" he smiles and shakes his head. I pout dramatically and tilt my head "Please come here"

He rolls his eyes but pulls his shirt over his head and heads towards me; he sits near the edge but doesn't move into the water. I notice he keeps his pants on. I smile slightly and splash water towards him. It's the leg; he's still struggling with the prosthetic.

He leans back on the palms of his hands and closes his eyes as the sun bounces off his features, light glows off his golden curls. His sharp jaw seems relaxed, his angular nose and soft lips have light bouncing off them, and his blond eyelashes shine in the sun. He's very handsome.

"I wish I could live in this moment forever" he whispers softly, one eye opens slightly to capture my reaction.

I'm grinning as I float on my back "Me too" he closes the eye again pleased with my answer "Peeta?"

He hums softly in response.

"I love you" I sigh and close my eyes.

"Say it again" there's a smile in his voice.

I giggle "I love you"

I hear him chuckle "I will never grow tired of hearing that you know. You'll be thoroughly annoyed soon"

I look over to see him watching me with a tender look; I wink "That's all I've been hoping for"

His laugh bounces freely with the wind and the soft chirping of faraway birds. It's music to my ears, this forest, so beautiful in its majesty and Peeta so calm and happy. It's all I've ever really wanted, all I've ever needed. I feel any worries I may have had be cleansed away, taken to who knows where by the river. I feel reborn, rejuvenated. For once in my life I feel young, I feel my age. There really isn't anything I could possibly ask for.

Peeta and I walk back to the Victors Village wrapped tightly around each other. He pretends to be helping me dry off but in reality he just simply wants to feel me near him. He wants to make sure I'm really here, not only a fragment of his imagination. His fingers trace patters across my arms making me shiver. My reaction only encourages him to further increase his proximity and I begin to feel weak in the knees.

We arrive at his doorstep to find a small note from Haymitch. We both laugh as we read it. It's quite plain and straight forward, just like him, all he wrote in his oddly neat script was _'I knew it'._

Since my clothes are completely soaked Peeta makes sure to immediately have me wrapped in one of his shirts, and an incredibly large pair of sweat pants. He gives me a look as I attempt to pull the string of the pants tight enough so that they won't fall. The look he gives me makes my heart skip a beat, it's a look filled with longing and some odd… pride.

I feign annoyance "I feel like I'm swimming in a pool of fabric"

He walks in my direction; he only reaches over to kiss that one spot between my ear and jaw that makes me shivers every time "It looks nice. It looks like you're mine" I blush with ardour as he heads towards the kitchen asking me what I want for supper.

I sit on the counter as he goes about making a meal for us; he works in a quick and efficient matter, his movements sure and practiced. He whistles as he does things, he reminds me of myself when I go hunting; completely in his element.

Every once in a while he leans over to kiss me. I love it when he does that. He just catches me by surprise and makes my heart flutter.

Time seems to move too quickly when I'm with him. Much too rushed the sun begins to retreat to allow the moon free reign of the sky. We're sitting on the couch by now. He's reading a book he'd left on the coffee table while absentmindedly playing with my hair and I'm attempting to understand how to work his television when he says it.

"I would really like it if you stayed" He speaks quietly, his eyes never leaving the page of the book he's clearly stopped reading. It's almost as if he expects me to reject him.

I immediately grin and answer in the word he'd used to answer my own question long ago. A question much like his "Always"

We don't make love tonight. Instead we just bask in the others presence. It has been a long time since I'd felt this safe at night and I know I won't be haunted by any nightmares. His arms snake around me under the covers and I bring my head to rest on his chest. The open window lets in a series of cool breezes, the curtains flow out towards the moon itself. I'm tracing patterns along his chests and he strokes my hair softly, every time he touches me he does it delicately, as if I'm made of glass. I feel like a kitten under his touch, I purr as it fills me with absolute comfort.

He's twirling a finger along one of my curls when I feel his chest vibrate with his words. It feels nice against my cheek "I'm sorry this took us this long"

"I'm sorry I left at all" I reply calmly as I watch the moon "It was a very stupid move on my part"

"You loved him" Peeta says calmly as he runs his fingers through my hair, it feels magnificent.

"That's the odd part. I didn't" I say in an oddly flat voice "I never did, at least not in anything but a platonic way"

His fingers pauses they're steady rhythm "Then why leave at all?"

I let out a shaky sigh. I knew this conversation would have to occur, I was just hoping to put it off, maybe for some time next year, or in the next decade… "I don't think you want to hear it, Peeta"

His fingers rub soothing circles across my back "Oh, I want to hear it alright"

I bite down on my bottom lip as I attempt to figure out how to word this without offending him. I find no way to soften the blow "Peeta, you have to understand that I was very confused then"

He nods "I know"

"I don't want to hurt you" I warn softly.

"You could never hurt me" he smiles "does it hurt _you_ to talk about it?"

I consider this for a minute. Mostly to stall as long as possible, I know the answer very well; it doesn't, if anything it makes me feel miraculously better. I did spill all of my sorrows to Haymitch for a reason, it was maybe a little selfish, but it helped "It doesn't hurt me"

"Alright" he encourages gently trying not to pry.

"It was a decision that originated mostly from my own stubbornness. Maybe my stubbornness was solely responsible" I begin carefully, studying his expression. He only looks reassuring and a little worried "I remember how angry I was at the Capitol. What they had done to you and Johanna, I just couldn't stop the anger that bubbled up every time I saw either of you. Johanna and her terror of water, and then there you were, a good calm soul, forced into such torment. I just wanted to stick it to them, I wanted to anger them, and I wanted them to pay. And I had convinced myself I could do just that if I married Gale, since he represented everything they resented. When I looked at you I saw the Capitol, the boy they had chosen for me. What they wanted. I hated that, I hated _you_. Gale was your, no he _is_ your polar opposite so I ran to him. I ran with him the first chance I got for the opportunity to do something rebellious that was all my own" I look at him, he holds the exact same expression "I'm sorry, it was stupid. I don't know why I put anger ahead of sensibility, of actual romantic love. Now I realize that it didn't even matter. My little rebellious act was of course, unnoticed. And if I ever wanted to really do something to anger the Capitol anyways I should have just stayed with you. They wanted to keep us unhappy, and you make me happy every time you smile at me. I guess that's why they forced us down each other's throats, to stain it. But they couldn't because we always managed to be fine. Every time you held me at night I felt repaired. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize how much of an idiot I was" near the end of my confession he begins to shake his head in ardour, I catch my breath about to launch into a long train of apologies when he pulls me in for a sweet long kiss.

"There isn't anything to be sorry about" he speaks softly and clearly after releasing my lips "I know you were confused. I get it. All I need to know is that we're here now, and we're happy and healthy. It doesn't matter what happened before. It really doesn't"

I don't have any words so I kiss him and I cry a little. His hold on me tightens and I feel so safe, so happy. We settle back our usual position. His arms drape around me and my ear monitors his heart. Soon we fall into a much needed slumber. All my dreams are pleasant, not one wakes me in a terror.

Eventually as the days go by my house loses its only inhabitant. We see no reason for me to keep my clothes there since I sleep with him every night, Peeta eagerly helps me pack my things and he carries them all over with a bounce to his step. The only thing I'm allowed to carry is my toothbrush.

Haymitch spends lots of his time with us. We feed him dinner every night, and he is always there to keep me company when I'm alone. I know he's lonely and I wish I could spend more time with him. Since he spends his time alert now, the days stretch out for him into an eternity.

One night when Peeta and I are getting ready for bed I tell him this; he's brushing his teeth while I braid my hair at the foot of the bed. I see him smile at me through the mirror "There is only one remedy for this"

"Oh" I say with inquiry as I secure a hair tie on the end of the braid.

"We find Haymitch a woman" he says before the water begins to run.

I laugh "Who? We don't know anyone the right age"

He gives me a look as if I'm missing some vital information, I pick at the shirt I wear. It's his and white "Think Katniss, who does Haymitch possibly know, near his age group, someone who he's spent an awful amount of time with before"

My brow furrows and I draw a blank, Peeta cocks his eyebrow and makes a little check mark sign in the air. I gasp "Effie?"

He nods "Why not? She's only been married once before, but that was long ago, from the last conversation I had with her on the phone yesterday, she's incredibly lonely. May as well connect the dots" he flops onto the bed and pulls me to him.

I settle next to him "It surely would be something, to pair them"

He shrugs "I heard opposites attract"

…

**So that was it! Please review!**


	6. Missing

**Hello again! I figured I'd provide you with a new chapter quickly to peak your interest and hold you for the next couple of days. School has been very hectic lately so I don't know when the next post will happen, so I'll see you guys someday in the near future.**

Chapter Six: Missing.

I sing to myself as I hike in the forest, bow and arrow at the ready, I'm on high alert. I'm not really desperate for prey; I'm just desperate for mental silence. Peeta somehow managed to convince Effie to visit us; she'd be here by the end of the week. I somehow managed to convince Haymitch to be there when the time came to pick her up.

We both agree that they probably know that we're trying to set them up, they're agreement either means that they want to be set up, or that they just want to get us off their backs.

Either way our mission is complete.

I speak to Johanna everyday on the phone as of late. Our conversations normally go past the one hour mark. Peeta always jokes loud enough for Johanna to hear that we've become a pair of old gossipy woman. We normally respond in some collection of sarcastic and snide remarks.

Speaking to Johanna was easy, she's always so energetic and her remarks are always hilarious. Our conversations always start with the same greeting "Hey Brainless, are you finally pregnant?" And they always end the same "Lover Boy and you better invite me to the wedding" It took Johanna literally no time to become an essential piece to my life. She simply called and proclaimed herself my new best friend and true to her word she is.

It's the same with Peeta and Finnick. At the bakery he's usually on the phone with him and Finn and his family visit constantly. Once I complained loudly to him and Annie why they wouldn't just move in and live near us since they were always here anyways. They were indisposed to leave their beloved sea behind. I said there was no way I was leaving the woods behind, Peeta had shrugged and said that I owned him, he went wherever I took him. We had all laughed and left the subject at rest.

Peeta had basically made me go hunting. I had been mopping around the house, I had turned my sighs into a constant occurrence. Originally I had refused, I'm still uncomfortable with my bow and arrow, there are too many memories attached to it. Too many people, guilty or innocent, died at my hand. Peeta, as always, tried to help me get better. He'd hold me, and listen to me, and he made sure to have a constant supply of baked goods at the ready. He's a smart man.

Eventually he's gentle listening turned into little nudges. He'd suggest I'd go hiking, or maybe I would like to climb a tree. He'd played his cards right. After the gentle nudging he'd just mention things in a very suggestive matter and leave the subject drop. He'd make sure I was thinking about it. He continued this way until this morning he lost all patience. He set a cup of mint tea before me accompanied by a cheese bun and looked me in the eye. Kindly he said "You should go hunting"

And I did; mostly because I wanted to, I missed the feeling of my father's bow against my fingers. I missed the feeling of accomplishment. I missed the sound my arrows make when released into the wind. Also a small part of me was so amused by Peeta's efforts I decided to just let him out of his misery. He had been so glad when I agreed; if I didn't know him better I'd think he just wanted to get rid of me. He put three cheese buns and a handful of berries and almonds in a paper bag and wished me luck.

A small movement catches my eye and I let the arrow fly after it. I smile smugly; I hit a fat rabbit, right in the left eye. I place him in my game bag where I've collected three squirrels. I'm looking forward to eating rabbit tonight.

I begin to hike my way back home, uselessly I attempt to remove the leaves and small branches attached to my hair. I must look like some sort of savage. It doesn't matter really; Peeta never seems to realize my flaws. If he does he doesn't mention them. By the time I make it to our doorstep the sun is setting. There's a note from Peeta on the door, he'll be home later than usual and I shouldn't wait up for him. Something about a wedding cake he has to get done. I open the door that is never locked and head for the kitchen; I put my game bag on the counter and set about preparing the meat to be salted and frozen.

As I'm washing my hands and attempting to remove the leaves from my hair again when I hear a small noise, a footstep I don't recognize. Carefully I step towards the sound; I dare not call out to it despite the fact that there is no reason for anyone to attack me. I arm myself with one of the biggest knives in the kitchen and slowly head towards the sound.

What I see almost makes me drop the knife.

…..

I wrap myself in my coat as I lock the bakery behind me. I bid Madge's son farewell –I still have not learned his name, I feel it would be a little rude to ask him now since he's worked for me for so long- and I head home. I wonder what Katniss managed to get today, that is if she killed anything at all. She had developed some sort of fear of her bow and arrow in the past couple of weeks. It worried me that she would never be able to do one of the things she loved most in the world ever again. Chances are that if she hasn't caught anything she's probably mad at me. I make a mental note to offer her tea as soon as I possibly can, tea calms her.

It's oddly cold tonight. The birds have long found a tree to settle in for the night and most of the other shops have closed. The walk back home is a tranquil one, something I take the time to appreciate. The bakery had been buzzing with activity all day; more children are out and about pouting until their parents agree to buy them a treat. Delly stopped by on her lunch break. She works with young children, she takes care of them when their parents are busy; business is at its peak for her now since its summer and school is closed. She looked just about as worn out as I feel.

The bright colors of wild flowers are splattered across the paths I take. I reach over and pick a violet flower; it reminds me of Katniss for some unknown reason. I study it for a minute, its soft petals and long green stem. It's beautiful, I stifle a yawn as I reach to pick some more, Katniss will like them.

Drowsiness envelopes me as I stumble past the threshold and turn on the lights; I'm dreaming about a hot cup of tea, maybe a snack and the feeling of a pillow tucked under my head. I'm halfway out of my coat when I stop in my tracks and gasp at the scene I encounter. The house is in complete disarray, the couch is overturned, the dining room chairs have been thrown in all directions, and dishes have been broken. The scene of a struggle is staring at me in the face yet I refuse to admit it to myself. Maybe if I call for her loud enough or maybe if I look hard enough. I inspect every room and call out her name in upmost panic, she does not answer she clearly isn't here.

I bolt out the door and scream some more "Katniss!" no one answers. Why won't she answer me? Where is she? I run to the only person who can possibly help me, I open the door and run right to his feet. Haymitch stares at me with a reflection of my panic.

"What's wrong?" he drops a sandwich he'd been eating and kneels next to me, since I've collapsed on his floor like a broken child "What happened?"

Hot tears drop from my eyes "Someone took her, I can't find her. She's gone, Katniss is gone"

His face hardens at my words and he rushes to the phone "I'm calling for help" he announces over his shoulder. I stay on the floor for a minute longer before I stand on my feet without much stability. My hands shake and my breathing is out of control. I feel myself unraveling.

Haymitch looks at me and nods, my intentions clear. He speaks to whoever is on the other line as I leap out the door again. I'll look under every rock. She can't possibly be very far, her game bag was there, and the meat was fresh. I run past every street and alleyway. I check the train station and even the bakery but there isn't a sign of her. She isn't near the shops or the Seam; she isn't in the Hob or our house. She isn't in her old house or the square.

As I begin to hyperventilate I begin to check the vastest place here. The only place she could possibly be. The woods, her woods; I shout her name as I run. She isn't in the meadow or by the lake. She isn't up any trees I've seen. My prosthetic begins to bother me yet I do not stop. I can't stop running, if I do it would feel too much like giving up and I can't give up on her. I can't help but imagine what could possibly be happening to her. Is she cold, is she afraid? Is she hurt? What if she's dead? No, I can't bring myself to think like that. I'll bring her back, she'll be fine. The night is growing darker the farthest I run, my shouts are swallowed up by the muted breeze and I collapse near an oak. Where could she possibly be?

…

"I'll be there immediately" Johanna speaks from the other end of the phone; I've called everyone on this earth by this point "have you called the authorities?" there is the soft sound of activity in the background; she must already be preparing to leave.

"The first thing I did" I croak my throat raw from tears "I think I know who took her"

Her movements come to a halt, her breathing pauses "Haymitch…"

"Who else would come to her house and violently rip her away from us?" anger hardens my tone.

"I agree, but we can't just zero in on Gale, there must be other possibilities. Katniss has a lot of enemies remember?" she's attempting to sound reasonable but to me she sounds just as convinced as I am.

"When I see him again I want to shoot him like a dog" I mumble "he deserves it"

"Maybe you should leave the honors to Peeta" she says, a dark fire lights her tone "I'll be there by tomorrow afternoon"

"Ok, we need to increase this search party. I don't trust the peacekeepers"

"Old habits die hard" Johanna mumbles before the line goes dead.

The front door crashes against the wall and slaps closed with the same amount of force as Peeta barges into my house. His cheeks are dry and flushed red. His eyes shine with a dark fire of the truly enraged.

"What now?" he grumbles and heads to my kitchen. He finds an old bottle of rum and grimaces as he takes a swing.

"We keep looking" I cross my arms "they're sending people. Finn, Annie, and Johanna will be here tomorrow to help out. Madge has been running around with her son asking if anyone has seen her"

He sighs "This is my fault; I should have been home earlier"

I place a firm hand on his shoulder "We don't have time to blame ourselves now. We have to find her; this couldn't possibly be your fault"

He sets the bottle down and gives me a determined look "We're finding her

"

"Good. How about we talk with the peacekeepers? They'll need some information before they can go look for her"

Peeta breathes deeply and nods "If it'll help"

As if on cue the white van appears on the driveway. We head out to meet them, the questions begin immediately. They want to know who could wish her harm, Peeta almost laughs in the man's face, she was the Mockingjay thousands of maniacs could want her dead. They check the house, they ask about her previous marriage.

Finally the man looks at our harried appearances. He speaks his words slowly, his tall stature and harsh green eyes do not intimidate Peeta, who clearly wants to shred him to pieces because of his complete uselessness "We'll have to wait forty-eight hours before she can be considered missing" he speaks with authority. Peeta laughs without humor.

"Forty-eight hours? Did you not just see the house? She was clearly taken by force! What else do you need you incompetent fool?" I dare not attempt to calm him; Peeta is beyond reasoning at this point.

"It's the law" the peacekeeper says calmly, Peeta turns and walks away in frustration.

"Why can't we just call Paylor? Does she _refuse_ to help? Does she _want_ me to personally murder her?" he's screaming at the top of his lungs now as he heads back to my house. He's probably looking for liquor and a heavier jacket. There is no way he'll stop looking for her. That I know.

The peacekeeper repeats that the search will begin in forty-eight hours. I don't snap at him, he's doing his job, I can't really blame him. When I enter my house I find Peeta ready for battle. He's bundled and he's prepared a bag so that he has no need to return for a while. He gives me a look "There isn't any alcohol here. Your sobriety disappoints me"

I grab his shoulder and give him a long look "I'll keep on trying to get us as much help as I can. You know I'm too old to help you look for her, and you know how much I wish I could accompany you. You find her, you bring her back home"

He nods "We'll be back before you know it"

I pat his cheek "That's my boy. Go"

He doesn't linger. He looks away from me and rushes out the door, his anger flows off him in waves. I've never seen him like this, he looks incredibly intimidating. I head back to the phone; there is only one person left that could possibly help us.

Before I have a chance to explain myself or even say hello she speaks "I know, I'll do it"

I sigh; I wonder why I doubted her "Thank you, Effie"

"You can thank me once I finish convincing the army to look for her. I haven't done anything yet" she pauses "I'm sorry about this, I wish I could have done something… anything to keep her safe"

"There isn't anything we could have done" I remind her gently "This was an attack. Something we had no control over. I thought she was safe, living in a house with that boy who looks like he could destroy a man with his bare hands and she still has all her survival skills. I thought we were all finally safe"

"We were all bewitched I guess" she murmurs. We say our farewells and hang up the phone. This may be the longest night of my life.

**Well that's the chapter, I tried really hard to make this one special, I hope you enjoyed it. Please review! I have a question, who do you think took Katniss? Who do you want it to be? Did Gale take her? Somebody else? Do you want me to throw you a curved ball? What do ****_you_**** want?**


	7. Longing and Memories

Chapter Seven: Longing and Memories.

The wind is cold; it rushes past me like a rabid animal and bites at my exposed skin. My throat is sore; I've been yelling out her name for hours, she is nowhere to be seen. Every sound startles me, I won't let go of my ridiculous hope that she'll walk past a slight break in the trees and smirk at me. I keep on envisioning her saying something sarcastic, maybe wondering what took me so long. I wonder where she is, I wonder if she's cold, if she's hurt, if she's afraid. At the rate I'm running my fingers through my hair I won't be surprised if some chunks begin to fall off, I've been pulling hard enough that my scalp aches. I remember that last time I saw her, the memory feeds me with hope, and it gives me enough enthusiasm to pull through the next half hour of fruitless searching.

The last time I set eyes on Katniss she hadn't been looking at me, she was distracted, lacing up her hunting boots. A couple of strands of her chocolate hair had escaped her long braid; they curled around her face graciously and lightly caressed her rosy cheeks. Her full lips had been slightly parted, the tip of her tongue peeked out from in between her teeth the way it always does when she's deep in thought. Her fingers worked quickly, she pulled on her laces tightly her forehead slightly creased when she lightly burned her left index finger with the laces. She cursed under her breath. After her laces were tied she stood pulling on her jacket, making sure it fit properly, securing a couple of buttons. She turned around quickly to face me; her silver eyes went from a slightly distracted demeanor to a loving light. She had smirked, walked up to me and gave my lips a light peck.

"Maybe you should take a picture, it'll last you longer" she smiled brightly at her own joke before kissing me again, this time hurriedly, she took the paper bag from my fingers and leaped through the door, she looked over her shoulder once, a smile on her face "I love you!"

"Be careful! Kill a squirrel for me, Love you too!" I shouted back at her and watched her half-run towards the woods; she looked so giddy, so very excited.

She had been so full of joy.

Now I hope I'll find her alive and unharmed. I hope she'll just be slightly frightened, not actually injured. I don't want her to suffer, ever. I dig my nails into the palms of my hands as the panic begins to rise. I focus on a moss covered tree trunk and attempt to calm myself. This utter feeling of loss, I'm much too familiar with it. It feels much too permanent.

Then the memories come.

I remember Katniss, during the first games, whenever she would leave me behind in that cave. I remember how it felt to lose her to Gale so many times, I remember the feeling of loss as my memories became more of a guessing game, the loss of my father, of my brothers, of the bakery. The loss of everything after the war; the feeling of complete helplessness as I sat there in my empty house on the brink of insanity; my breathing becomes erratic and I feel warm blood seep past my pale fingers each drop stains a leaf bellow me. My mind begins to resemble a storm, an untameable animal, a whirlwind of confusion. The moss I stare at seems to disappear, and I know my pupils are fully dilated by now.

The last coherent thought I have tonight is of Katniss, I hope I won't find her tonight, not when I've turned into such a threat.

…..

There is the sound of heavy footsteps, and a leak somewhere far away, the sound is repetitive, almost calming. My stomach is tight with terror, I'm surrounded by utter darkness, and I blink a couple of times unsure if my eyes are open or not.

Someone has slung me over their shoulder, as if I were some sort of animal. I'm underground, it's damp enough. My head hurts, and my wrists and feet are bound tightly, as if I were a pig about to be roasted. I fleetingly wonder if they'll stuff an apple in my mouth.

The material on my wrists feels rough; it burns my skin after any sudden movement. The person carrying has an odd bump to his movement; my whole body is forced to shake every few seconds.

I wonder how I ended up here, I barely remember what happened. My last memory is of shooting a rabbit and thinking of Peeta.

_Peeta _it is almost as if my heart stops at the thought of him. Is he alright? Where am I? Has he been taken as well? Oh God, is he alive?

My hands begin to sweat at the question. This must be my fault, it _always_ is my fault. What if something happens to him? Does anyone know that I've been taken? Has Peeta been taken? What if they hurt him? I can't have someone hurt him because of me again. I refuse to let that happen, he barely gets through the night without having a small episode in his sleep, what would happen to him if his mind was tampered with just a little more?

What have I done?

I have a panic attack within the safety of my mind. I shouldn't have acted on my selfish feelings and invaded Peeta's life, I should have just stayed in my house, annoyed Haymitch, he wouldn't have minded. Not that I would have really cared anyways. Maybe I should have just died in our first games, saved us all the trouble in the first place.

Yet even in my own hysteria I know that I'm incorrect, I don't even know why I'm here. For all I know I could have a crazy stalker, someone who couldn't stop thinking about the Girl on Fire. Maybe that's it. Maybe I'll get myself out of this one on my own. Maybe Peeta isn't even aware that I'm gone yet. Maybe he's at the bakery, melting chocolate or something. Maybe I'll make it back home before he does.

Yeah right! Peeta would _never_ notice. Why must I be such an idiot?

Chances are he's had a heart attack and I can't even remember what happened to me. I have to get back to him; I did _not_ just get back to just die. I promised myself that someday I'd make Peeta happy, truly happy. Maybe I'd even marry him, have his children. I wasn't about to _die_ before that. I have so many things still left to do. I must teach Peeta to swim, I must ask him to teach me to bake, I still have to witness the day Effie and Haymitch fall in love, I still have to talk to my mother, I still have to see Johanna again, I have to hold Peeta again, I have to make love in the shower, and learn to frost a cake. There is just so much to do! I can't die before any of those things; I can't die without having experienced pregnancy, or old age. I can't just _die_ today.

Katniss Everdeen will _not_ die at the age of twenty-four.

So when the faceless man drops me on the wet cement floor I don't even flinch. I don't panic when he locks a metal door behind him, I don't even cry. I simply look around with wide eyes, already planning my escape.

I am startled when I hear the rustle of movement from the other end of my cell.

There is the sound of chains dragging across the damp cement floor. There is grunting, and heavy breathing. I shuffle, attempting to find a less compromising position, I need to be able to defend myself from whomever is about to attack me. I need to get out of this alive; I need to get back home to my Peeta.

I brace myself, hoping that I could at least have one of my extremities unbound. My eyes search the darkness with all their might; I search for the source of the movement hard enough that my eyes begin to ache. The damp cell falls away, all of its shadows, the sound of scurrying rats, and the dry scent of old air and the bleeding from my raw wrist disappear.

I'm forced to gasp.

The figure before me is bent and bleeding. He's weighed down by a series of heavy chains bound around his wrist ankles and neck. He's covered in grime; blood is dried around a pattern of scars around his thick neck and along the torso of his dark shirt. The smell emitted from his is foul; I don't doubt the possibility of him having urinated himself.

His head lifts slowly; clearly this is much effort since the chains seem to be attached to the wall behind him. His oily hair gives way for his bright eyes to startle and bore into my silver ones. A shadow of recognition darts inside my skull, yet I can't seem to place him just yet. Who is this malnourished man that is dying before me? Who is this prisoner? I rake over his dark skin and strong hands. Nobody comes to mind. I consider his oily hair and his prominent jaw. I compare these features to the many men in my life. He obviously isn't Peeta or Haymitch, his skin is much too dark for the first, and he's much too young for the latter. I think of anyone else I've met before. I compare him to Cinna, Beete and Finnick. I compare him to numerous townspeople and peacekeepers. I even compare him to the teenager who works at Peeta's bakery. He's none of these men. I continue my comparison game until he speaks.

"Funny meeting you here"

My eyes snap back up to his and the realization seems almost crushing. I knew this man well. When I was young I thought I knew everything about him. I used to trek the woods with him, I learnt to sing with him, I swam with him, and I sat with him late during the evenings until I fell into a deep slumber. This man was my world, this mans end led me to swear off love. This man meant and still does, mean the world to me.

"Daddy?" The words slip from my tongue in a panicked shirk, I sound like a child. I must have finally gone mad. How is it possible for me to be staring into his grey eyes? How can I possibly be in his presence again? How is this real? How did this happen?

So I repeat the question my mind in need for clarity "Daddy?"

He simply stares at me with tears melting from his loving beam "Hey baby girl, you've grown haven't you?"

I crawl towards him as I burst into tears, I've never been this shocked in my life, yet I'm incredibly glad to see him "Daddy!" I chant over and over as I reach him, we sit beside each other unable to embrace. His presence only adds to my resolve, my absolute need of survival. If we make it out of here he could meet Peeta, he could be reunited with my mother, he could be present on the day I married, he could meet Haymitch, he could meet Johanna, he could meet his grandchildren, he could sing with me again. He could just be my father again, the only thing I've ever really wanted.

How is he still alive? How did he survive the mining incident?

As he always used to he reads my mind. He smiles and opens his mouth, telling me the most fantastical story I've ever heard.

…

**I know this is a very short chapter but I felt terrible for not updating sooner, so I simply took the stuff that I had that I was surely keeping and published it. I hope you don't mind. I'm figuring out some stuff with Haymitch, Johanna, and Finnick. I promise to hurry stuff up, I'm just you know, worried. I really want to please you guys with this story but I'm very afraid of disappointing you guys but I swear I'm trying. I promise to update something good soon.**


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